Now here’s something that we all need: Uncle Patrick’s Advice to Children!
Don’t use one of those little Handi-Vac things to empty an ashtray. Because the inrush of air could potentially reignite any fading embers. And, uh, a big jet of flame might shoot out of the thing, surprising you and making you scream like a ten-year-old girl. And you might knock over your beer.
If you’re ever fishing, and a poisonous water moccasin swims up to try and eat one of the fish on your stringer, and you think that maybe flipping the snake out of the water and onto, say, me is a good idea, please reconsider.
Just because you can stick toothpicks in your forehead and they’ll stay there and it doesn’t really hurt all that bad doesn’t mean you should go ahead and do it, at Denny’s or any other restaurant.
Thanks for the link… hehehe… I hope I don’t sound that crusty to my on nieces and nephews!
— Bob
Taste the brutal Q-Tip of destiny…
Hilarious. So kind of you to send amusing material to people who are feeling ill.
Okay, now I’m imagining you in a candystriper uniform…