I attended Virginia Tech from 1991 until 1995, obtaining my Masters in chemical engineering. During that time, I spent the majority of my waking hours in Randolph Hall, which is located a hundred feet or so across a parking lot from Norris Hall, where the worst of the killings took place.
I’ve been in a very strange place since first hearing the news yesterday. I can’t begin to express my sorrow for those whose lives were taken, nor my rage and confusion over how a person can do such a thing. I think Dan put his finger on it last night – a place that I had fond memories of, someplace where I felt safe, has been violated. I suppose I’m fortunate to be twelve years removed from campus, and things aren’t quite as raw as for those who were there just recently. For those attending Tech, I can’t begin to imagine what it would be like to try to resume a normal campus life after such a tragedy.
Through all of this, there’s an anger over something I admit is small and irrational, but irritating nonetheless: For the next few years, Virginia Tech won’t be a school known for a fine engineering school, a place for skilled architecture graduates, or even a school with a good football team. It will instead be “that school where all those people were killed.” It’s as if the schools identity was taken away, and replaced with this horrible albatross around its neck.
I probably won’t say much else about this matter – I just can’t put it into words much more than this. But I wanted to get this much out.
I know how you feel about now having an albatross around the neck of someplace you love.
It’s been more than 35 years removed now, but I’ll still run across people today – when I mention that I grew up in Kent, OH, or that I went to Kent State – who say, “Weren’t there a bunch of students killed there?” Worse, even, as both of my parents were present when the National Guard starting firing into the crowd. I was born four years after the shootings, but I’m still “branded” with it just for growing up there.
Love you and miss you.
And I miss you as well. I thought of you and Tracie and all of my friends from Tech yesterday. I hope you’re doing OK.
*HUGZ*
The VT ripple has hit UCI. There’s a subdued air over the public areas I’ve been, and I’m quite sure I noticed a few nervous glances when I walked into B.C.’s eatery this morning for coffee. Its like folks are expecting a copy cat incident, or that VT “opened the cork” for some latent sociopath here. Nervousness is infectious.. I don’t want to go on my afternoon ring walk because of it; an air of walking on glass.
Half a dozen emails from various University officials, including one from the Chancellor promising to “review” security procedures in “light” of the “tragedy” at VT.
I think anyone that works on a University in some capacity has taken pause to reflect on VT. I know I have.
Don’t worry too much.. UT-Austin got over Whitman’s rampage. Its part of the University’s history now, but the school is quite “normal”. Life goes on.
Tom, a correspondent for “Dateline” (MSNBC), one Hoda Kobd, has written an essay that perhps you should read. It may serve to help you understand your feelings. I just ready through 234 comments and they were all very positive – especially among those who were having trouble verbalizing and/or even recognizing the what and why of their feelings about yesterday’s events. By the boo, this person is a VT grad. Ma
It’s been hard for me to deal with both as a sorta-student and as an administrator at a college.
I caught myself reflecting yesterday that I was no longer annoyed that all of our classroom doors lock automatically now and you need a passcode to get in them. I’m glad. And I find it weird that I’ve got two giant cops in my class.
I keep imagining what would happen here if something similar happened. My building is right in the center, and all of the academic ones are a stone’s throw away.
As an administrator, particularly one whose focus is on students, it’s really hard to imagine something like this happening to YOUR students. And believe it or not, at least at this college, I’ve found it really hard to not get attached to them– both individually and taken as the student body as a whole.
We’re here to provide a safe haven for learning; a bubble if you will. You’re supposed to be safe. You’re supposed to be cared for and protected; at least as protected as you can be in the big bad world. Parents trust us with their kids. Students trust us with themselves.
We’re undergoing a policy review here too, as well.
I’m sorry, and I wanted to let you know that I understand what you mean, too.
err that should have read that I find it weird that I’m glad I have two cops in my class!
Violated. That’s a good word for the feelings these sorts of things cause. Wish I could offer more than a virtual hug. 🙁
My sympathies to you, and the alumni, students, faculty, staff and families of VT.
I attended New Mexico Tech 1989-1995. Now, ordinarily this would have no relevance, save for a few things. First, they’re both tech schools. Second, we’re equally as removed from our campus, chronologically. Third, we both had fond memories of our campus. However, there was no shooting at my campus, so how could I possibly relate. And I dare not imagine how I would feel if there were — several of my friends still work on the campus, even after all this time. And I have family in the town now. It’s a very small town (8k-10k, depending on time of year :P), and everyone knows everyone after a while.
Columbine Highschool is a short distance from my house. I was just arriving in Australia for the first time (on a trip for work) when it happened. I was out of sorts already, from the long trip and the foreign land — seeing that on the news made it all the stranger. “Why is my home town on international news?” “OMFG”
For what it’s worth, Columbine is still Columbine. Life returned to relative normal there, in time. It seems like a mere flash in hindsight. I vaguely remember the news report of the cafeteria being reopened (it was boarded shut for a year, if I remember right). There are, of course, annual observances.
Some scars never fully heal.
*hug*
I don’t know what to say either. It’s just awful.