Mr. Sun answers the question we’ve all been asking: How can I score at the Democratic National Convention?

First off, I would target a delegation with really bad seats. You’ve got to come home with something, and if you can’t see any of the political superstars up close then perhaps copulating with a pseudonymous blogger would suffice.

I would look forward not backward: urging hot delegates to sleep with me not out of frustration over the past but hope for a sexy future. Having said that, some truly nasty bitterness sex sounds really hot. The more I think about it, I remain open to going off message for some hate-sex.