You know there’s a reason people like me shouldn’t have children. The Story About the Baby is an excellent example of this [Note: This link contains Bad Words]. My favorite passage so far:
But now I spend all of my time having internal conversations like:
Me: “Oh, hell. Did I remember to put out the diapers so the service can pick them up?”
Inner voice: “Boil the baby.”
Or,
Me: “Phew. She’s finally asleep. I can get some work done.”
Inner voice: “Boil the baby.”
Or,
Me: “I’m hungry. I sure could use a ham sandwich.”
Inner voice: “Boil the …. wait. Did you say ham?”
Me: “Mmmmm. Sandwich.”
Inner voice: “Mmmmm. Sandwich.”
Me: “Better clean this plate.”
Inner voice: “Put the baby in the dishwasher.”
This is gonna provide hours of entertainment…
Many, many thanks to Elynne for the link
I was dying when I read that, the entire site is hilarious…check out the bit about the internet too…it’s terribly wrong 🙂