Monthly Archives: March 2018

It’s Been a Year

One year ago today was the worst day of my entire life. Dan, my husband of eighteen years, suffered from a bilateral pulmonary embolism and passed away in a matter of minutes.

It wasn’t supposed to happen like that. We had big plans for the future. Sure, Dan had some temporary health setbacks but we were going to beat them, together. We both had good, secure jobs. We talked about starting an event planning business. We wanted to travel, with friends and just ourselves. We had dreams.

And then those dreams were just…gone.

Those of you who have followed me on social media have witnessed my travails of this past year. Depression, anxiety, grief, loss – the worst I ever could have imagined, and then some. I have been very open about it because I know I’m not the first to go through this and I certainly won’t be the last. Part of my therapy was showing that it’s possible to live through all of this, somehow. It’s messy, chaotic, and unpredictable, but it’s possible to make it through.

The last few weeks have found me very introspective. I have been thinking for so long about the things that I have lost, but I began thinking about the things that I have gained. I have found a new measure of compassion for the hurt and grieving. I have rediscovered the warm, caring community that I am fortunate enough to be a part of. And I have been reminded of just how lucky I have been in my life. I had the love of a wonderful man for eighteen years. We were able to build a life together, and we found happiness. How amazing is that? And just because eighteen years was all we had, that doesn’t make that time any less wonderful.

I wondered if the approaching one-year mark would be any great milestone for me. After thinking about it more, though, I realized that milestone had passed without me realizing it. You see, a month or so ago I started planning for the future. I thought about what my life might hold 5, 10, 15 years from now. That may not sound like much, but it’s something that was very hard for me to envision six months ago.

I have found something I never expected to find again. I have found hope.

I’m think gonna make it, Dan.

Book Review: Ghost Wolf, by Hurri Cosmos

Hi, my name is Trevor. I’m a wolf shifter.

I say that like I know what I’m talking about. I don’t. I was simply running off a ton of steam one day when I was around eleven and bam! Okay, not quite that easy or fast but it happened when I was young and stupid. I’m also gay. I say that like I know what I’m talking about with that too. I simply don’t.

I’m grown up now and living in the big city which has me too busy to much care about either one of those things. I get out and run my wolf when I can, trying like hell to stay out of the local pack’s territories. Belonging to a “family” just sounds like too much work, and honestly I don’t have time for such things. Besides, I was told when I was young the color of my wolf was all wrong. Too silver…or something. Metallic. I kinda thought it looked cool in the full moon. “Pack Alpha would kill ya soon as look at ya.” My grandpa used to say. Course he wasn’t my real grandpa. Just an old man who lived down the street, but he was a shifter too and I thought he knew it all. He probably knew diddly either, but a guy can’t be too careful. And romance? Way off the radar.

Only now someone has started killing wolves. Started leaving broken bodies lined up in a nice little row next to the high school in my home town and it’s got me to thinking. If a shifter is killed in his or her wolf state, do they stay that way? Were these dead wolves like me? The hell of it all is this: being a shifter isn’t common knowledge. It bothers me enough that now I want to find out more. See if there’s anything I can do. Kind of like a super hero.

Oh yeah. Probably forgot to tell you this too. I can turn invisible.

Yep, Ghost Wolf to the rescue.

2.25 out of 5

There’s a good book somewhere in Ghost Wolf. Unfortunately, it’s hidden by a huge pile of unnecessary exposition, aimless side-plot, and a lack of character development. While Cosmo’s writing style flows well, the book would be vastly improved with some stringent editing and some pointers on re-thinking some of the plot points.

I am a sucker for the lowly-protagonist-finds-themselves-the-key-to-Big-Problem plotline. This is one way to tell the story of the Hero’s Journey, and when done well it can be utterly engrossing. The problem here is that Trevor starts as a shy and impulsive social misfit who makes poor decisions and by the end of the book he’s…a shy and impulsive social misfit who makes poor decisions. What have we accomplished here? What is acceptable at the beginning of the book becomes increasingly annoying as little character growth occurs.

The side-characters are, alas, rather flimsy. Trevor’s Fated Mate (a term which is thrown around to exhaustion) Ryan is rich, strong, and dotes on Trevor. We don’t really get too much more insight into his character than that. The one character who does have an arc goes from potential antagonist to ally to friend appears to change course at the drop of a hat (or a single revelation).

Then there’s the exposition dump. We learn a lot about werewolf pack dynamics, rules, ranks, and how the packs relate to each other. There’s nothing wrong with this, but 1. Don’t give all of the information at once in pages after pages, and 2. Ask whether each bit of information is relevant to the plot. Unfortunately, at least 50% of the information given is not, and can actually be quite distracting (like why are werewolf ranks Greek letters, until they’re not?).

Then there’s the plot. The blurb suggests the wolf murders are central to the plot, but in reality, they are peripheral. The how and why of them is given very early on, so there’s not much mystery there. Plot points need to be made, but do so efficiently. I don’t need to know what bus a character took and what transfers needed to be made to do so. This can all be dispatched with a single sentence. There is also an entire subplot about misdeeds at Trevor’s workplace that has zero impact on the overall plot and could be cut completely. I also think the plot twist in the final 10% of the book could be eliminated completely and the book would be stronger for it, but that is my own personal preference.

Finally, while spell checking is a great thing, it completely misses homophones. There were many incorrect homophones in the text, which was distracting. On the bright side, the book cover design is quite nice, a welcome diversion from the usual style of the genre.

I’m afraid I cannot recommend Ghost Wolf in its present form. Perhaps if it is re-edited and revised at a later date it may be worth reading, though.