Monthly Archives: May 2004

Mmm, chemical fumes

I really need to remember that too much Tilex in an enclosed space really sucks. I decided to take a break after gassing myself with the stuff yesterday and I didn’t get as much done as I’d hoped. No problem, I’ll just be busy today. That’s probably good; it keeps my mind off other things, like whether the phone will ring or not.

In other news, this song absolutely rocks! Jennifer Saunders (yes, that Jennifer Saunders, sweetiedarling) can sing!

And still no phone call

So, I called the recruiter yesterday about the Abbott position; my “file has been re-opened” by Abbott and they’re just waiting to hear back. Given that I was told there were still two (of the original four) validation auditor positions still open, I was kind of hoping they’d jump on this. Evidently not. Does this mean I’ll be around for Memorial Day weekend? Well, not necessarily. About the only thing it means is that I won’t be driving up to Chicago today. All it takes is a phone call, though, and I may be driving up tomorrow. Or Thursday. The upshot is that I won’t know what’s going on for the weekend until Wednesday afternoon. What fun. In the meantime, I’m working under the assumption that I’ll be around and prepare accordingly.

And by the way, I’m not anal-retentive, really.

Translating Your White House Spokesman, Part #128

(On Bush’s bicycle accident Saturday)
Bush was wearing his bike helmet and a mouth guard when the mishap occurred.[White House spokesman Trent] Duffy said he didn’t know exactly how the accident happened.

“It’s been raining a lot and the topsoil is loose,” the spokesman said. “You know this president. He likes to go all out. Suffice it to say he wasn’t whistling show tunes.”

Translation:
President Bush is not a faggot. He’s more butch than you’ll ever be.

It’s so nice to know that throwaway bigotry is a part of every day press briefings.
Hey, how about, “Suffice it to say he wasn’t eating watermelon and fried chicken.”? Or maybe, “Suffice it to say he wasn’t wearing any sombreros.” That’d be a real thigh-slapper, too.

Because, you know, gay people wouldn’t ride a mountain bike, any more than black or Hispanic people would. What the fuck?

And now some local politics

A commentary on one of the North Carolinas Republican candidates for Congress, courtesy of the ever-droll Mr. Sun:

Methinks thou doth protest too much!

Vernon Robinson sure has homosexuals on his mind! He seems to think of little else. In fact, I don’t know anyone who thinks about homosexuals as much as Vernon does, including homosexuals. On a single page from his website, Vernon talks about, and I quote:

radical homosexuals
-homosexual terrorists
militant homosexuals
-gay scoutmasters
-homosexual in a pup tent with your thirteen year-old son -homosexual sodomy
-want(ing) to give Barney Frank a Maalox Moment

It sounds to Mr. Sun like Vernon might want to give Barney Frank something milky, but perhaps not Maalox. Well, let me put it in limerick form. Everything is best as a limerick, wouldn’t you agree?

There once was a man named Vernon
Who hid his unnatural yearnin’
The more he pretended
The more he suspended
The fire in his loins a-burnin’